The ADHD Brain and Systems – Part 2

/in , , , , , /by

Part 1 of The ADHD Brain and Systems addresses how the ADHD brain reacts to the systems we implement to bring order and control to our lives. It also provides three strategies you can use to make a system more effective. If you have not read part 1 yet, pause here and read it before proceeding.

Remember Carla from part 1? She and I worked together to solve her systems problem. We explored the routine she had put in place for her day. As we probed and processed, she concluded that she expected her system to do too much. She acknowledged that she had created it based on how she believed she “should” do it. She realized that her expectation of the system to take her from zero order to strict and rigid structure in one fell swoop was unrealistic and unattainable. 

When you think about yourself and your past systems, does this sound familiar?

Do you want to create better systems for yourself?

Consider these Five Tips for Getting Started:

Reflect on your old discarded systems. Mine them for the gems that were useful and effective. Consider characteristics or patterns those gems have in common. How can you incorporate those into systems you create for yourself moving forward?

 

Keep it simple. This phrase seems so over used, yet it is so true. I have clients who spend hours, days even, creating complex systems with bells, whistles, and baubles of all sizes and colors to account for any and every possibility. Their systems are detailed, comprehensive, complex, and attractive but not practical. Their brains enjoy the creative process of putting them together but balk at actual implementation because the systems are too overwhelming and complicated to use. So, keep it simple.

 

Use a system that works with YOUR brain. This requires some self observation, analysis, and, above all, honesty. It also requires you to let go of the idea (hope) that someone other than you knows the perfect magic way of doing things that will make everything in your life fall into place.

 

Keep your expectations realistic. 100% consistency isn’t an achievable goal. How about putting into place a repeatable structure that you can implement 70% of the time on average and fall back to when life gets messy?

 

Get a thinking partner. It’s hard to ask yourself the hard questions and be objective about your responses when just doing it in your head. A coach is specially trained to collaborate with you to help you move forward. If setting up with a coach doesn’t feel like the right move for you, a trusted friend or family member may be able to fill the role. Who is a person in your life who can listen, ask good questions, and collaborate with you to process your wants, needs, patterns, skills, and so forth?

What’s your next move?

How to Make Persistence Pay Off

/in , , , /by

My psychology students, all 21 of them, bent over the slips of paper I handed out moments before. Most had quickly worked through the first challenge on the paper. As the minutes ticked, most accomplished solving the second problem on the sheet. Within about 10 minutes ¾ of the class put their pencils down and raised their hands to indicate they had completed the task.

The five students still working were scattered amongst those who were finished. Their body language – shifting in their seats, chewing their bottom lips, gripping their fingers into fists – indicated that they were feeling pressure and frustration. Determined to not be outdone by their classmates or my little challenge, they continued to scribble out answers then scratch through those answers to scribble out new solutions that would then be scratched through. They persisted in their effort far longer than even I had anticipated they would.

President Calvin Coolidge is credited with saying, “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.” I beg to differ. Persistence alone will not solve the problem, move the dial, or save the day.

Just ask the five students who struggled to solve the puzzle on their paper. It wasn’t their fault, of course, and their inability to solve it didn’t reflect poorly on them. I had intentionally given five students an unsolvable anagram. All 21 students received a paper with three anagrams to solve. The anagrams in the sequence became progressively more challenging. Nonetheless, 16 students received a list of anagrams that were solvable. Five randomly selected students received tow solvable anagrams and a third unsolvable one. 

No amount of persistence would have ever rewarded them w
ith the outcome they sought.

Persistence, also known as grit, can lead to astounding success. It allows the underdog to rise up and overcome obstacles to achieve what no one thought he could. Don’t misunderstand me. I believe in the power of persistence.

 

I believe in the power of persistence when there is a plan. Without a thoughtful plan, a person is engaging in blind persistence, which can result in sticking with a faulty strategy
, working at accomplishing something that cannot be accomplished, or attempting to solve something that isn’t the true problem.

Blind persistence leads to

  1. The creation of false obstacles.
  2. Feelings of frustration and defeat.
  3. Self-comparison to others.
  4. Negative self-talk.
  5. Feeling helpless.
  6. Physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.
  7. Impaired decision making skills.
  8. Impaired communication skills.

To make persistence work for you

  1. Identify the real problem that needs to be solved 
  2. Determine if that “problem” is something that needs a solution or simply needs you to make a choice. 
  3. Identify what you know from prior experience with this or similar problems.
  4. Identify what you already know about the current situation. 
  5. Clarify for yourself if this is a problem or goal that is important to you or if it is something you are trying to accomplish because you think you should, you think others want you to, or you fear you’ll be judged negatively if you don’t.
  6. Create a plan for persistence that specifically states the end goal, the actions you will take, when you will take each action, how much time you will commit to each action, the resources (including people) you will use to help you complete each action, what success will look like at each step along the way, and the timeline (including end date) for achieving your stated goal.
  7. Stick with (persist with) the plan.