With the COVID-19 pandemic comes so much uncertainty, compounded daily as facts and information change. We don’t know when shelter-in-place mandates will end. We don’t know how long social distancing recommendations will be in place. We don’t feel secure about the economy or our jobs or our health and safety. We don’t know the implications of the pandemic models for the long term.

Ambiguity and uncertainty affect us all to some degree. Physically, our bodies enter the sympathetic nervous system fight or flight response, releasing stress hormones while on high alert for danger. Psychologically, we endure ruminations of all the what-ifs that cycle through our thoughts regularly. Emotionally, we feel fearful and anxious.

If we remain in this heightened state for a prolonged period of time, it can negatively impact our mental and physical health. Thus, the question becomes “How can we manage the uncertainty, the anxiety, the ambiguity, and the stress caused by COVID-19 and strategies in which we must participate to curtail the spread of the disease?”

Today, let’s focus on our sense of control. Martin Seligman’s classic 1965 study demonstrated that when we feel as if we lack control over what’s happening to us, we enter a state he termed “learned helplessness.” When we experience learned helplessness, we tend to throw up our hands and surrender to even the chaos of life that we CAN do something about.

We turn learned helplessness around not only by recognizing what is within our purview of influence, but also by acknowledging and “allowing” what is not. Because, if we are allowing something, we are bringing it into the present instead of stuffing it down. We are giving it a nod and giving it permission to exist as part of our reality without giving it power.

The following exercise is designed to aid us in regaining our sense of control and, thus, settling our anxiety, reducing our ruminations, and triggering our parasympathetic nervous system to kick on and return our bodies to homeostasis:

Step 1: Close your eyes and take a breath. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly. This will help settle your mind in preparation for the next step.

Step 2: For 60-90 seconds, list off everything, big or small, that is currently within your control. Start with the statement, “I can control…” You can either say it out loud or write it down or both. Think about the very small things like your control over what time you go to bed at night and what time you get up in the morning. Think about the bigger things, such as your control over the news media you choose to consume or how you set up your interim home office. Add as many things as you can to your list.

Step 3: Close your eyes and take a breath. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly.

Step 4: For 60-90 seconds, list off the things you are currently allowing. Start with the statement, “I am allowing…” You can either say it out loud or write it down or both. Think about the very small things like allowing the toilet paper shortage in your local grocery store. Think about the bigger things like allowing negative news reports.Add as many things as possible to your list.

Step 5: Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly.

Step 6: Take on the rest of your day.

Step 7: Do this step several hours later or maybe as the wrap up to your day. Analyze what you put on your lists. What patterns do you see? What can you learn from your lists? What would you add to or delete from your lists? How will you use today’s exercise to make a difference in your tomorrow?